Skinny Judging is as bad as Fat Shaming

I learned an important lesson a few weeks ago. On a recent project I was surrounded by skinny women as my weight continued to pile on. I was sure they were judging me, because week by week I was getting visibly fatter. When I got sleeved, I worried about their judging me, feeling certain they were. I was frustrated and angry at these skinny women who had NO idea what I was going through. How dare they judge me when they’d never have to deal with what I did??

A few weeks ago I took one of them to lunch. Skinny, eats like a bird, very particular about what she eats, exercises like a fiend, won’t eat even half a cookie. I told her about the surgery knowing that she could not understand nor relate.

And she told me that 5 years ago, she lost 80 lbs.

Which incidentally, is how much I have to lose. “I was a big girl” is how she put it. Eats like a bird, is particular about her food, exercises? Because she is determined never to put that weight on again. Won’t even eat half a cookie? Because she worries she’ll eat the whole plate of them once she starts.

I realized that she was not judging me, rather *I* had judged her, had completely misunderstood her habits and her struggles. It was a very sobering realization. What’s that they say about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes? It was a wake up call for me to not judge either fat nor skinny.